Change

Ok, so I haven't been great at posting blogs. Who would have thought it would be difficult to keep writing out these small snapshots of ideas or experiences?

I would like to reorganize my time and this includes my blog. I have a plan to look at some literature on improving blogs and ways to make my commitment to blogging more manageable. Something that has been playing on my mind the last couple of months is how much i have moved away from setting up my life according to my values. I performed a spell at Ostara to help me get closer to where i want to be. I think further spell work is needed, and also some practical exercises to find out what it is I really want and how I want to do that. Brain storming and mind mapping are required!! And both of these shall be done in ritual.

I have the ability to create and mold a life that matches my internal vision. I have everything I need, and yet I spend so much of  my time on escapist activities instead of looking at what I can do or change in my life. I will make this work, and hopefully this time I will include blogging as a regular activity.

Imbolc

The sun shines down upon us, the air is light with a promise of warmth but it still holds the chill of winter. The wind is energetic and playful, holding the potential of a fertile spring that promises to burst forth just around the corner. I sit outside with my family; the children playing on cushions, the adults doing various activities on their own computers. Music plays, it seems to fill me with optimistic happiness.

I have had 32 hours of hectic chaos that has left me feeling adrift in the middle of a tumultuous sea. Imbolc seems to have brought with it challenges and hurdles both very literal and metaphorical. So it is wonderful to sit and enjoy the day. I have a ritual with my witch sisters tonight to look forward to and the beginning of a new semester at uni get my head around. I have a new business idea that is in the throws of production that i hope to watch grow and flourish over the coming months. The energy of the season seems to be evident in most areas of my life.


I wish you all my warmest blessings and I hope whatever seeds you sew over the coming months grow with abundance in your lives. happy Imbolc!

A Coven

I would love to be a part of a coven. I would love to have a circle of other witches that I know and trust to create magic with on a regular basis. I want to belong to something bigger than myself, and I know that I belong to the universe and we can all tap into that and many other kinds of energies outside of ourselves, but i would like that tangible sense of connectedness that I believe would come from being a part of a coven.

This, however, is not the only reason I wish to belong to a coven. I love the way a regularly meeting group keeps me dedicated and focused. In the past, groups that I have attended weekly have kept my spiritual practices in the forefront of my mind and enabled me to be more dedicated to the path I choose to walk. For some reason, without that incentive I find those things pushed to the back of my mind and all the other day to day things take prominence. This is something I find intensely frustrating and I am not really sure how to combat it other than to belong to a group.

The other, more embarrassing, reason is that I have this picture in my mind, a very child-like idea of who a witch is. She isn't old and ugly, there are no warts or pointed hats, but she is wise and comfortable in herself. She might be followed by a cat and she is definitely carrying a book. She isn't necessarily wearing black but it is night time and so her clothes are dark. She has a secret smile and is on her way to meet her coven in a small clearing in the woods.

Although I know this is some kind of fantasy that my mind has made up in response to different kinds of input, I would still love for it to be a reality.

All the witches in her coven spend time making magic, honoring the Goddess and the God. They dance and sing, they share songs and laughter, food and wine. They gather under moonlight, heavy clouds, roaring wind or brightest stars. They feel the rhythms of the earth and learn the different energies of each passing season. They celebrate events in each others lives and bring about changes that they recognize are needed.They provide support for each other, not because any of them are necessarily lacking in support in their day to day lives, but more because in this circle everyone is open and honest, present with perfect love and perfect trust. In this circle it is natural and simple to be everything she wants to be.

I would love to be part of a coven. I realise that the picture I have described is narrow and simplistic. There would be hard work involved and not everyone would get along all the time. Not every circle would be full of laughter. It remains within myself as a kind of longing, a desire as yet unfulfilled. I am not sure it ever will exist and perhaps that is why it doesn't for me.

Writing this blog was supposed to be a bit like a one person coven, writing it regularly, and with dedication, coming back to my spiritual values and keeping present with them. It hasn't really worked. I guess now I need to figure out why....

Observe

Something I have heard many times from different people is the importance of observation. As a person who is pagan it is a core belief that I am part of the earth and nature and that I need to live in respect of the world around me, but how can I do this if I don't have a true connection or understanding of the way the rhythms of our planet work or interact?

Observation is a great start in forming a connection with nature. Taking time to notice the way the wind moves or how excited the wild life seems is amazing and relaxing and beautiful; observing the world around me is a wonderful form of meditation. The changing of the seasons and the passing of time can be explored with intensity just through watching.

Starhawk talks about 'earth walking' in her book Earth Path. It is a form of meditation where you get to know a certain area near you through observation and meditation with all your senses engaged. It is extremely effective and when practiced regularly it deepens the connection you have with all the energy that flows around you. It begins with the visualisation of growing rots from your feet deep down into the earth and then walking around witht his visualisation and experiencing what is around you in a concsious and open manner. I love this kind of observation, I am always amazed at how much more clearer everything seems in this state.

There are so many wonderful things to be witness to when we just open our senses to what is around us. It seems a shame to miss out on the beauty that is right in front of my nose when all I have to do is notice it.

The Magic Pumpkin

Once upon a time there was a garden. In the growing warmth of spring a woman and her friends turned the soil, fertilized it and added love to the rich earth, then the woman planted vegetables and watched them grow as the days became brighter and warmer. She delighted in witnessing the small shoots of green mature and come to life as they bore fruit.

The garden was used and visited daily, the woman began to learn about the processes of life and gained knowledge about her connection with the universe just from the relationship she developed with this garden. But too soon the days grew colder, the rain came in and along with it the slugs and snails. These little creatures were part of the earth and so the woman did not want to kill them, especially not with poisons or toxins, as she wanted the products of the garden to provide sustenance for herself and her family.

So when she started to plant winter vegetables they were quickly eaten and disappeared completely. The woman tried not to begrudge the gardens insects there meal and as it became harder for the woman to venture out into the cold and the events of her life caused her to visit the garden less and less the vegetables in that garden stopped growing and the plants that bore fruit in the warmer months died or became wild or barren.

On an unexpectedly warm day in the middle of Autumn the woman visited her neglected friend and found a vine had started growing, she was not certain of the nature of this vine but noted its resemblance to the cucumber and zucchini, and wondered if perhaps it was a plant that would grow vegetables, and as she was not actively growing vegetables at the time, the woman decided to see what would become of this plant that had spontaneously sprouted in her absence.

It was not long before it became apparent that a pumpkin vine had appeared without any effort or intention. The woman watched as a single pumpkin started to grow from the vine that had crawled up a lattice. The pumpkin that grew was raised off the ground and nestled in a patch of wild parsley. It grew bigger and bigger and the woman watched with hope as time passed. The woman left to visit a friend, she was away for two weeks, and had decided that since the pumpkin had grown without her help she should let it continue to do so for the time she was away.

Upon her return the pumpkin was a wonderful size and completely ripe. It was the only pumpkin in the patch and the rest of the vine had died back, unable to compete with the chill in the air. The woman recognized that this was a special pumpkin, a gift and a lesson, to remind her that the earth will give her sustenance and that she should trust this wisdom. She picked the pumpkin, but it was picked with reverence and respect, the earth was thanked and the pumpkin was cherished. The woman knew that she could not simply use the pumpkin in the usual manner and so she lovingly cut up the pumpkin, delighting in the contrast of its green skin and vibrant orange flesh. She added a little cumin to the chunks and roasted it, with the skin on and took it as an offering to her tribe, so that they might share in this wonderful gift and take into themselves the wisdom the earth had provided for her.

It was her Magic Pumpkin and the tribe ate together, and delighted in their ritual. They shared their love as they shared the pumpkin and the woman was happy, the garden was happy and the seeds were deposited in the compost, in the hopes that the woman would experience the pleasures of such a wonderful gift in the next year.

Anger and Acceptance

Tonight as I write this blog I am angry, filled with a seething indignation that I believe to be completely justified. As a result I cannot think of the wonderful uplifting subjects I might have written a blog about and have therefor decided to write about the relevance of such a stirring emotion.When I first recognised my own emotional climate my response was shame. I immediately tried to rid myself of the anger I felt, but I decided that in doing this I was not honouring myself and as a part of the development of self love, I decided, instead to explore this topic.

As a witch I believe that everything in nature is neither god nor bad, it is all part of an universal balance and as such anger has its place and when used in a healthy way it can be a constructive emotion. Anger can ignite a need for action, it can be a catalyst for change, it can even be as simple as helping someone become aware of there own core values and their expectations in life. Anger is a gift from the realms of fire , and in direct association with this element it is an emotion connected to passion and creation. I recognise that it can be an immensely effective tool.

Of course I agree that anger can be unhealthy, like all emotions stagnant or obsessive anger can be completely destructive, but if I follow the all important rule of 'harm none' and if I acknowledge my anger instead of ignoring it in response to the automatic shame I felt, I don't think it will have the power to become unhealthy. As a practitioner of magic I recognise that it is not healthy to enter a spiritual space while holding onto anger and this is another reason why I believe I should address my feelings in order to move forward and return to my more natural state of compassion and love.

My anger will pass, I will rant to loved ones and decide whether to address the cause or accept the experience as something that has given me a new insight into myself. Even just writing this blog has made me feel lighter and I am glad I have done so - I am sure I will be back to my happier self in my next blog.

Wisdom on the Wind

Today has been one of those wonderfully windy days, the days when you are constantly reminded of the wind, regardless of whether you are inside or outside, even while I type I can hear it beating on the windows and moving through the trees.This morning, as I was walking with Violet, we were swept up in a particularly large gust of wind; big, dry, brown leaves swirled around us and up, high into the sky.

That is, by far, my favourite thing about Autumn and it is sad that it has taken me until this far into the season to experience it. Those wonderful gusts of wind make me feel weightless, as though I too could be carried away to some unknown place. I have experienced gusts of wind like this every Autumn since I can remember and they always fill me with such joy and optimism. I believe they are full of energy and remind me that change is coming and inevitable. It's exciting.

So what changes are coming my way? What secrets are whispered, or howled upon the wind? Tonight I shall take time to sit and listen to the knowledge brought to me on the wind. I will ask the questions that arise in my mind and I will attempt to gain clarity and calm in regards to the changes taking place around me. I am feeling a little lost at this exact point in time - I am adrift without much to anchor me, and so  tuning into the magic of the universe and, more specifically, the knowledgeable element of air is exactly what I need.